Raising a Modern-Day Princess by Pam Farrel

Author:Pam Farrel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
ISBN: 9781604829273
Publisher: Focus on the Family
Published: 2011-12-24T00:00:00+00:00

[Note: More on this type of entry into the teen world and specifics on how to create a personalized challenge can be found in Suddenly They’re 13 by Dave and Claudia Arp.]

Nobility

Your daughter needs to see you as a woman who respects herself, and she needs to learn how to have self-respect so she can value herself as God values her. In a world fraught with pressure and societal expectations, it can be a challenge to help a young lady see herself from God’s vantage point and make choices that reflect that viewpoint.

Often, mothers do not agree with some of the choices their daughters make, such as the way they wear their hair, or the shoes, clothes, or jewelry they choose to wear. Most every mom, at some point in this season of her daughter’s life, will have to bite her lip and say, “It’s your choice!” All along you will have to fight those thoughts that you would prefer not to be seen with her because the tails of her eyeliner have just met her temples, her clothes look like they came from Aardvark’s, or her favorite shoes just added a foot to her height now causing her to tower over you!

I [Doreen] believe the defining complementary differences between trust and respect are these:

You demonstrate trust by verbalizing your encouragement and challenging your daughter to make her own healthy choices.

You show your respect for her by remaining silent when she makes choices you might not agree with and you allow her to experience the consequences, either good or bad, accordingly. This will take some discernment on your part. While you have been entrusted by God to protect and nurture your daughter, there will be times she needs to make her own decisions.

There may also be times you must confront her unhealthy behaviors or choices. Pray for wisdom in this area. If necessary, seek advice from other women you trust and respect. A good lesson to remember regarding your daughter is to choose your battles wisely.

Mom, as you prepare for her rite of passage, keep in mind that instilling nobility in your daughter also requires addressing her sexual purity. Generations X and Y have been equipped with many wonderful books, seminars, and DVDs on this subject for teenage girls and their parents.

My personal recommendation is that you establish some quality time to be spent taking advantage of one of these resources before you begin the rite of passage. Or you can include it in your one-on-one time with your daughter. Consider how the information will be presented because it is personal and private and success will depend on your own and your daughter’s comfort level (keeping in mind that it is sometimes necessary to move beyond comfort to address what is important).

You may feel that this is an area where you’ve made unhealthy choices and so feel hesitant to give advice. But your instruction and encouragement are still blessings to your daughter, Mom. And remember, too, her time spent with

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